Friday, August 16, 2013

The Fire Inside

So afraid of being burned

We neglect the fire within

That longs to explore

To break out of the rut

To do something different – anything!

To blaze a trail

Spontaneously connecting to our Self

To others

Grabbing hands

Swinging our arms

Twirling around and around

Feeling dizzy

Euphoric from the play

Filled with delight

As all we held back

Shoots through our body and beyond

We are alive

As never before

Barely recognizable

In the glow of Joy

Beauty revealed

In an honest moment

Living the Truth

Of all that lies within.


This morning still in the waking up process and not in my rituals, I walked over without a thought to my desk where I have a silver music box engraved with Passing On Hope …Courage, Strength, Hope, Joy.  This was a gift from my dear friend, Diane, in honor of the completion of my book.  I twisted the star wand sticking up on top and Somewhere Over the Rainbow began to play.  This song more than any song touches the depths of me, reminds me that I am a soul expressing as Kathy; and when I return home to this Truth, to my Self, life is magical and I am on fire transported beyond the mind’s chatter that can hold me and the beauty that is captive if I let it.

My mom used to threaten to run away screaming at the tops of her lungs like a wild woman on the edge, wanting to break free, perpetually disappointed by life, overwhelmed by circumstances, but she didn’t have the choices that I have so she was forced swallow the Truth and repress the fire inside.  Observing my mom, I knew she was showing me the ghost of Christmas future – who I would become if I denied my Self the freedom available to me.  I have great compassion for my mom who felt this tug of war within but had to find a way to survive it.  She loved my fire as our relationship became woman to woman and delighted in the freedom I lived.    

We hear tales every day of men and women gone mad who run away from their lives, their families, their friends cutting their Self loose from all they believe kept them from freedom.  Starved to touch the fire inside, to come alive, they strike a match and watch the old life go up in flames as they recklessly ride away into the horizon, making their great escape.  But they fail to understand that they are taking their Self with them and all the beliefs that repressed the fire, the depth of experience they long to explore.  True freedom is an inside job.

We do not have to derail our lives through repression or escape doing something drastic in order to free our Self.  Acknowledging that we are afraid to be burned by life, by others, we can connect with our Self honestly and face the fear consciously, allowing it to inform us so we can make different choices and give our Self what we need.   

The invitation this day is to honor the fire inside.  Let it burn brightly so it doesn’t burn you.  There is a home within where you can rest in the passion, the beauty, the joy, the grace, the peace that fuels your life like nothing else can.  Touch the depths of your Self.  Smile from the inside out, acknowledging that you are a soul on fire expressing uniquely as YOU.  Love your life.  Free your Joy.  You are limitless potential hatching until your last breath.

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