Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Fighting for Your Life

A diagnosis comes



Stalling our engines

Leaving us adrift

Spiraling down

Forcing us into

The fight for our life

As we crash

Flooding our psyche with

All that was

 All that is

All that we want to be


The gift of the wreckage


The constant

As we are liberated

Knowing who we truly are

And the privilege it is to be alive

On our darkest days

On our most triumphant days

Our heart remembers

It is all good






I have observed myself saying in numerous conversations:  Your life is worth fighting for.  These are not terminally ill people, diagnosed with a disease which leaves them fighting for their life day in and day out, hoping and praying that they will beat the odds, doing whatever they must to stay here on this earth as they fully understand the gift of life.  These are people who have forgotten that they have choices to do things differently, to fly out of the cage door that they believe holds them captive not seeing that the cage door is always open; forgetting they are the captor and the liberator both.

Recalling some events of my life to friends who didn’t know me in my most destructive times, I shared how I began fantasizing about how I could kill myself not wanting to live the way I was living.  Then, a grace blew through me, showing me that my life was worth fighting for; and just as I had visualized ways of ending my life, I could use this very tool to imagine the possibilities, to create a life that would nourish my soul.  The clarity that came forward giving me a higher perspective, making known to me that I possessed the power within me to move mountains and the only mountain to move was actually me began my journey into living consciously, joyously and gratefully come what may. 

Since my earliest days on this earth, I was obsessed with death, worrying about my own death and the death of others who I loved, people from my community as well as strangers on the evening news and in the paper; the death of birds I found on the sidewalk or squirrels on the road.  I had a recurring dream about Nazis holding me captive, torturing me until they mercifully killed me in the gas chamber.  These dreams terrified me as a child, but I now see that my subconscious mind was showing me that life is a liberation walk, choice by choice, day by day until our last breath.  There are things in life that suck which we will do anything to avoid, feeling tortured and even wishing the pain would end – on some level wanting to die but ultimately, not wanting to live the kind of hell we are experiencing.  The intensity of this space takes us into another gear, the depths of who we truly are, the limitlessness of the soul.  This is a grace so fierce it forces us to fight for our life, to walk through that which we have run from.   

The invitation this day is to not wait for some diagnosis, some terminal disease to see that your life is worth fighting for.  Do what you must this day to bring more joy, more peace, more love into your life.  Hold the intention to love your life knowing it is possible and it is the greatest act of service to your Self and humanity.  Fight through old patterns and beliefs that keep you imprisoned.  Dismiss all that violates the truth of who you are – all that strips you of the beauty and abundance that is.  Fight the good fight with a heart wide open to the miracles of this day available to you and to all.  LOVE BIG! 

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