Tuesday, March 12, 2013

What Can't You Live Without?

We may NOT choose to live without the people and all the things we call essential in this world but the MIRACLE is:  WE CAN!
The human spirit allows us to endure the unendurable.
The force within us that is HOPE infuses us every moment of every day.
We may give up on LIFE but LIFE never gives up on us.

When my nieces, Macy and Jess got engaged, I was searching for gifts to mark these special milestones.  I went to my favorite spot to browse and found a wooden sign with these words painted on it:  Don't choose someone you can live with.  Choose someone you can't live without.  This saying is a great reminder to not settle and to be passionate about who you choose to share your life with because there is a distinct difference.  The message is not lost on me; but in the wake of John's death, I couldn't bring myself to buy it.

I now know that I can live without the person that I thought I couldn't live without.  And my living, moving on and welcoming new life serves as proof that it is possible to do what I thought was impossible.  John insisted that in our wedding ceremony we use the wording:  until God shall separate us by death knowing that more than likely one of us would leave this earth before the other.  I get it that this is a daunting thought and I represent the greatest fear for couples.  But I also get to pass on hope.  Standing on my own two feet, I show others how to do the same.

Now, on a purely superficial level, I can't live without my pen and notebook, lip balm, mascara (being an 80's girl), my defrizzer hair products, bottled water, good friends, interesting conversation, travel, Lake Cumberland, running shoes, Nike Air stilettos, a comfy bed, peanut butter m&m's, belly laughing, hot bath soaks with candles and rag mags, books, art, soulful music and so on. 

It is FUN to enjoy the pleasures of this life that feed our needs.  Go ahead and proclaim:  I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THIS! appreciating the abundance of this life; but know in the depths of yourself that you can live without anything you think you can't (aside from the essential things that keep us alive like oxygen, water and nutrients).

When careers end, when marriages end whether by divorce or death, when life as we know it is gone, when the things we treasure are no longer, we must grieve and feel the pain of this.  And we learn to live again.  

 We may give up on LIFE but one thing is certain:  LIFE NEVER GIVES UP ON US!  (Miraculous...Wondrous...AWEsome...BEAUTYfull.)

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