Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Trying to STOP Life

We have ALL done it

And will do it again

It is human nature

To think we can STOP life

By staying in bed

Pulling the covers over our heads

Burying our heads in the sand

Anesthetizing our Self

With our favorite NUMBing agents

Shielding our Self

Creating a protective barrier

Because we simply

Cannot bear for life to touch us

We can’t take it

The weight of the world

Bringing us to our knees

Onto our bellies

Running for shelter

Hibernating in caves

Checking OUT

We are certain that we were given more

Than our fair share of crap


Want to punch out

Those who say stupid shit like

“God will never give you more than you can handle!”


Trying to STOP life

Is like trying to stop a moving train

It simply is NOT possible

Try as we might

Throwing our Self on the tracks

Waving the white flag

Trying to STOP life

Puts our power in perspective

And from this higher view

We see

The humor in our insanity

Doing the same things over and over

Expecting different results


We see

The necessity

Testing life

Pushing the emergency button

Taking a detour

But unable to DERAIL

This grand adventure that is LIFE

As it goes on and on and on

With or without our consent

Whether we go on strike

Whether we are shouting: BRING IT ON!


Even with the covers pulled over our heads

Even with our heads buried in the sand

Even anesthetized by our favorite numbing agents

We are still dancing with life

Breath by magical breath


I accidentally hit the emergency button on the elevator in my condo building with my over-sized reusable bag loaded down with groceries.  I was pressing the 16th floor button when boom! the alarm began to sound and the concierge began to nervously ask me:  What’s the emergency?!  I assured him that it was just another Lucille Ball moment in my life and apologized laughing my ass off because my life is truly my favorite comedy and I could never make up all this crap that happens – I am not that clever or as funny as life itself is.

As I walked into my condo, I thought about how many times in my life I had wanted to hit the emergency button thinking that I had the power to stop life, trying my best to put it on hold until I could catch up to it or muster the strength and courage to deal with what was before me.  Wishing my life away, unable to see that what was right in front of me was there to show me beliefs that held me hostage, to reveal the scripts that needed revised and rewritten, to remind me of all that lies within so I could flow with life again.  But in those gripping moments of overwhelm that sucked the life out of me, I did what I knew how to do and it served me; finding safety in bed with the covers pulled over, burying my head in the sand pretending not to know what I knew, numbing out with food, alcohol, drugs, work, busyness until I recognized that life was going on, moving forward and I wanted to go with it instead of fighting against it.

Taking responsibility for my life, acknowledging there ain’t nothin’ fair about life, adopting the saying that makes me laugh out loud:  what the fu$% does fair have to do with life!, giving the villains in my life a human hall pass which freed me from the blame game and all the tethers to the past dramas that couldn’t be undone, I got clear about the life I wanted to create.  The flow of life returned allowing me to love life with no conditions; and in this space, the jolts and hard knocks are absorbed by an inner fortification where I can stand fully engaged in life come what may.  The world can crumble around me and I can rest in the eternal home within my Self, ever-connected to the soul force of the universe in a way I didn’t know was possible.  True freedom!

The invitation this day and this lifetime is to compassionately observe your Self and how you try to stop life.  This isn’t about labeling your Self as a problem that needs fixed or demanding that you never try to stop life again feeling ashamed of natural responses and purely human behaviors.  With the baseball bat tucked away in the garage next to the tennis racket, stand with your Self gently.  Reflect on the choices without making them good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative.  Understand that each choice has served you and give thanks for them.  From this nourishing space of Self-care, truth will safely rise to the surface so you can consciously make choices that free you, honor you and create a life you absolutely love come what may.     

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