Expecting life to be
Free of challenges
Free of pain
Free of fear
Free of that which we cannot control
Free of worry and doubt
Free of confusion and contradiction
Free of unfairness
Free of mystery in the unknown
Is not grounded in reality.
Knowing life is
Grounds us in the truth
And this creates space to allow the totality of the human experience.
It is human nature to believe that we will reach a point in life where everything will go our way, everything will unfold as we think it should and go exactly as we have planned leaving us with a sense that we have finally figured it out and will be protected from anything bad happening. But then, life swoops in and shows us that this belief system isn’t realistic and we come to see how our expectations of how things should be, our need to control everything magnifies that challenges that we must face.
To be able to rest in the knowing: Everything is okay even when it’s not okay, we hold the paradox of life which creates freedom in the midst of the crap we would much rather run from than be with. The practice of reminding myself: Everything is okay…over and over even when it doesn’t feel okay, even when I have to deal with some stuff that I absolutely do not want to where I morph into a 12 year old saying extremely dramatic things like I’d rather poke my eyes out! than do this, feel this or be with this. But the 12 year old does provide some comic relief in the midst of all I am feeling so I love her and welcome her special brand of crazy.
Looking back on my life so I can ground in this moment and muster the necessary courage to be with life on life’s terms helps me remember all that lies within me. Evidence pops up in my mind and I gather it gratefully, letting it bubble up from my bones, feeling my sense of Self return remembering all that I am so I can be with and do whatever I must.
The line from the Faith Hill song The Secret to life flashes to my mind and lightens my heart with laughter: The secret to life is there aint no secret. And you don’t get your money back.
This is life. This moment of terror, this moment of uncertainty, this moment of heartbreak that shatters you, this moment of discomfort, this moment of doubt and worry – this is life. Trying to deny it doesn’t make it so. Trying to control it doesn’t mean we’re in control. But what if we chose to make even those fu$%ed up things sacred? What if we chose to be with all of life (even the shit that leaves us kicking and screaming and cursing the day) trusting it is all sacred? This allows us to use all the events of our lives as fuel that enlivens and enriches us instead of merely being victims of the events which leaves us deflated.
We can’t stop life from happening but we can choose to welcome the gifts even the expensive gifts that cost us dearly. The invitation this day is to spin the lead, the heavy things that life brings our way into gold, treasuring and valuing the pricelessness of this life.