Why do we believe what we believe?
Where did our beliefs originate?
Someone says something
And we take it on as absolute truth
Or we hear something
And interpret it as bad or negative.
Old beliefs still dictate patterns
Imbedded deep within
Wreaking havoc on our Sense of Self
Holding us hostage
In ways we don’t even recognize
But in a moment
When we assess why we believe what we believe
And let go of what insults us
We are free to reach
For beliefs that honor us
And the life we are here to live.
Last Friday, I was heading into a block party so they were checking i.d. (Yes! Even mine…LOL!!!) and putting wrist bands on those of us over 21. As the guy placed the band around my wrist, he said: You have the tiniest wrist. I’m gonna’ have to double this up. When he said this, I flashed back in time to my childhood. I was a big girl, both tall and fat, so I obsessively wished I was tiny like my mom and the other girls at school. My mom, trying to reassure me would tell me: Kathy, you’re just big boned.
Until I was in my mid-twenties, I honestly believed there was such a thing as big boned and that I was this amazon woman with giant bones which I deemed less beautiful than the petite women and girls who had tiny bones. It took my late-husband, John, to convince me that I am not big boned and there is no such thing, as he wrapped his middle finger and thumb all the way around my wrist laughing at the absurdity of this belief.
Now, I understand that on the surface this big boned belief may seem benign, but it actually wreaked havoc on my body image and sense of Self. The dismantling of that belief allowed me to see my Self with fresh eyes, no longer comparing my Self to others; Miraculously, I could fully appreciate my body and the way it is uniquely proportioned with shoulders wider than my hips, small breasts, flat bottomed with muscular thighs and arms, sturdy wrists and hands, skinny calves with large flat feet that ground me.
Looking back at old photos, I chuckle with disbelief that I couldn’t see what was right in front of me, and it saddens me that I couldn’t appreciate the beauty of my body blinded by a belief.
The invitation is to observe the things you say silently to yourself and aloud to others. Challenge your beliefs asking: Where did that belief come from? Does this belief hold me hostage or free me? Does it limit me or expand me? Does it honor me and my life? Bringing beliefs into consciousness gives us the opportunity to challenge and dismantle them so we can reach for new beliefs that affirm the beauty that we are: mind, body, heart and soul. Beliefs that insult us on any level rob us of precious life force and a healthy sense of Self. We need the whole of who we are to show up for this life with a sense of awe that fuels the passion within us that came here to live out loud.