Thursday, June 6, 2013

Expecting the GOOD

We show up for the events of life
Expecting things to be a certain way
Movies play through our minds
Painting pictures of all we imagine
All we hope will happen
All we hope won’t happen
And we leap fearlessly or with fear in hand
Into the unknown
Expecting the good
Expecting the worst
Praying silently
Mumbling under our breath
Trusting that no matter what happens
We will be okay
We will live to tell the tale
And this is the human experience.

As I stand in my kitchen writing this, my eyes are puffy from lack of sleep and eating nachos at midnight (sodium is not kind to me these days); my hair feels like straw but still has some cuteness left from the doo I was rocking last night (I seriously haven’t had this much hairspray on my hair since my Aqua Net days in 80’s); my left elbow and left knee are oozing blood from the tumble I took onto the concrete;  I have a bright red pimple in the corner of my right eye which is distorting my vision;  My feet are screaming for mercy after standing last night for 6 hours straight but they are planted right here in this moment grounding me in this new day.  This is my life, the divine comedy that plays out in ways I could never expect and it is all good as I nurse this fun hangover, integrating the joy of my adventure last night.

A friend who works event productions asked me on Saturday if I wanted to go to the CMT Awards that took place here in Nashville last night and I immediately said Yes! I am wide open to new adventures, finding such excitement in showing up for the direct experiences of life’s events, expecting the good no matter what happens, teasing aloud but actually believing that there are no bad experiences only good stories if we live to tell the tales.

This past Monday, my friend texted that there was an orientation that I needed to attend explaining that I would be a “seat filler” for the country stars and they would give me a wrist band which was my ticket into the CMT Awards.  When I arrived, there was a line so I took my spot.  A woman began to talk to me who was a pro.  She has been seat filling for the stars for 10 years, naming everyone she has sat next to and met, sharing her war stories of standing in the pit for hours crammed into close quarters like cattle, popping Tylenol from her back aching and needing to pee desperately with no way out for a potty break. She had convinced me that I didn’t want that assignment as a movie played through my mind creating images of all I hoped wouldn’t happen.

Preparing for the awards yesterday afternoon with my 5:00 “call time”, I texted with friends comparing my excitement to prom night but with saggy boobs, a sundress and hell of a lot more confidence not to worry expecting the good come what may.

Arriving at the awards, I got into the line and stand there with the sun beating on me to the point where my sweat was visible on my coral sundress.  I began to laugh and bond with the women next to me as we gave thanks for the slight breezes that passed through.  We raised our arms and dresses welcoming the relief and hoping to dry some of the dampness.

When we got inside, the air conditioning felt like heaven so we ahhhhh’d with delight and found napkins to wipe off our sweat.  They ushered us behind the red carpet where we could see through the curtains all the country stars being interviewed by the press – some I recognized and some I didn’t but enjoyed seeing them in action up close and personal.  Then, they waved us forward taking us to our final destination:  the pit. 

In spite of the horrific images the woman’s stories painted, I was so in the moment that I didn’t give it a thought.  All I could think about was how lucky I was to be right there by the stage getting watch Darius Rucker, Kacey Musgraves, Lady A, Jason Aldean, Lenny Kravitz, Miranda Lambert, Keith Urban, Little Big Town and Carrie Underwood.  A new friend who I had been standing next to since getting in line shared that she had been warned that this was not a good assignment and I told her that I had too, but I knew we were going to have a blast.  I began my Lucky Us! attitude expressing my expectations of all the good.  She joined in the excitement that we were getting front row seats for free and we morphed into teenagers.  All we were feeling was:  Woohoo!  Lucky Us!

The strangest yet coolest and most hilarious thing has happened since writing my blog Me and Sheryl Crow, everywhere I go people tell me that I look like Sheryl Crow.  Now, while I am flattered by this comparison giggling like a school girl every time, I am not delusional so I don’t actually think I look like her.  As I stood in the pit with 50 new friends, CMT aired the red carpet interviews.  Sheryl Crow flashed up on the big screen and a guy yelled out:  You look like Sheryl Crow…that’s who you look like…I was trying to figure out who you remind me of.  Everyone joined in acknowledging my resemblance to Sheryl Crow and I felt like a rock star as I soaked up their unexpected kindness.

The show went Live! and the 2 ½ hours flew by as one great talent after another entertained us and had me dancing and rocking all night.  I got to see Sheryl Crow only 10 feet away as she presented an award with Kenny Rogers.  Everyone in the pit nodded with eyes wide, assuring me how much I look like her and we could be sisters.  My favorite performance to my surprise was Little Big Town covering a Fleetwood Mac song Keep Us Together with Keith Urban rocking his guitar with his sheer brilliance that electrified me.

The show ended and I was so filled with energy from the night that the fun continued on the streets of Broadway as Nashville was partying.  I was mistaken for Sheryl Crow when unbeknownst to me; I walked by an area where fans were waiting for the Stars to exit the building.   And then, a few minutes later, I tripped over a curb tumbling to the ground in my dress thanking the heavens that I wore Spanx shorts and picking myself up as I cursed Fu$%...Fuuuuuuu$% that hurt, brushing myself off and walking home with a sense of all the goodness the night had bestowed upon me. 

Sometimes we leap fearlessly or with fear in hand into the unknown and still fall – it is a part of life – but expecting the GOOD, staying in the moment, allowing the direct experience truly creates miracles every single day come what may.  The invitation this day is to: Expect the good remembering this doesn’t assure the absence of the bad or the things we hope won’t happen rather it creates space allowing the good to rise, to be revealed.

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