Saturday, April 13, 2013

TRUSTing Life=TRUSTing Your Self

Trusting life is trusting your Self
to meet what comes forward moment by moment, day by day.
And making the necessary choices, 
listening to our inner wisdom,
not avoiding what we find our Self face to face with
no matter how daunting it may appear
 as it will come back around and the waves will become a tsunami.
The answers always lie within us and yet, we usually look outside our Self to find them, not trusting the wisdom within, giving authority to others by allowing them to make choices for us.  We all have done this and do this out of habit or we simply trust those we share this life with more than our Self.  No judgment.  This is about the inquiry of TRUSTing life and our Self.  It is a constant dance to trust life through trusting our Self to face what comes forward day after day.

Life right now is at a frenetic pace, forcing me to lean into my Self even deeper and not go to sleep at the wheel in order to make necessary choices.  Some of this is easy and I ride these waves like a pro.  Some are not as seemless and I watch myself want to avoid instead of face.  I check myself so I don't wreck myself, put my grown-ass-woman (G.A.W.) panties on and do what I must.  

It becomes clearer to me every day, that as a child (and boy, does that child still live within me and will drive me off the fu$%ing cliff if I don't watch her and take the wheel back), I believed that trusting life was letting some higher force make choices for me, letting others who I gave more authority over my life than myself choose for me.  And I still believe with all of my heart that assisting forces within us and around us guide our lives and lead us to our highest good and greatest joy; but now, I see that it is through living life through the direct experiences of what comes next and listening to the inner wisdom that knows do this...don't do that...there are no wrong choices.  Just make a choice and if you don't like the choice, you can make another one. Permission NOT to do it RIGHT or PERFECT!  Choose, observe and choose again...

This morning, I have a conference call with my accountants to discuss taxes and I do not want to do this.  The truth is that I would rather have my finger nails ripped off.  Well, maybe that is an exaggeration but the point is:  this is the last thing I want to do and yet, it is necessary so I show up and do what I must.  I trust that I have the power to make choices and this grounds me in my life as it is not as I wish it would be.  Children wishful think.  Grown-ass-women show up and exercise their power of choice.  In this moment, I choose to be a G.A.W.  This feels good and makes me laugh out loud releasing the tension between what I want (wishful thinking) and what is.

How about you?

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