Sunday, July 7, 2013

The Woman in the Red Truck


NEVER underestimate the power


It is indeed the greatest gift.


I headed out for a run, surrendering to Mother Nature’s gift of the pouring rain and delighting the part of me that is fed by in climate weather which transports me into a vacuum of oneness with all of Creation.  There was no where I had to be, no one waiting for me to take them out skiing or make breakfast so I was completely in the here and now with no plan.  There was a silent urging as I ran further and further up the road.  I ran past a red truck at the corner stop sign and felt guided to look back.  The truck continued to stay, a deliberate stop that was prolonged.  I ran toward it as the window rolled down and I could hear a woman’s voice and see her shadow.  I thought I knew the woman but couldn’t recall who she was which is common for me since John’s death rewired my brain.  When I got to the window, standing within 2 feet of her, I didn’t know her and this didn’t matter as she began to pour her heart out:  I just got back from Louisville.  Doug’s got the worst form of Leukemia and it doesn’t look good.  He is in pain and whittling away to nothin’.  They told him he had allergies and now it’s cancer.  What am I supposed to tell my mamma?  There was a little girl who was 9 and she told me she only has a couple of weeks left to live.  She told me not to worry because she and Doug will have wings soon flying around the Heavens watching over everyone – even her parents who are in prison who she hasn’t seen since she was 4.  She is ready to die after 4 years of treatments and not feeling so good but has hung on to make sure her granny who has raised her is okay.  I couldn’t believe that little girl was comforting me.  Where does her strength come from?  How can she be so peaceful?  …I am out driving because I don’t know what else to do.  I just moved back here after leaving my husband of 15 years.  He took half of everything and I keep wondering when all this bad stuff is going to end.  I just feel so mixed up and I don’t know what to do for my Bubby, Doug…

I stood there with the woman in the red truck as the rain poured over me held in timelessness where healing happens mystically.  I listened.  I didn’t try to fix anything as there was nothing to fix.  I was able to bear witness to her pain and anguish and sorrow and grief as well as the miracle of the 9 year old angel and the love this woman has for her bubby and mamma.  I let her say whatever she needed to say until she ran out of bottled up steam expressed through words; letting her tell me when she got what she needed.   She told me she had better move on down the road so I shared this with her:  Never underestimate the power of your presence.  It is the greatest gift you can give your brother.

She drove away and I ran back to the houseboat, giving thanks for the wisdom of my experience being present to my brother, Michael during his cancer and ultimate death.  This journey with Michael taught me that my presence is indeed the greatest gift and left me in awe that this undervalued, unacknowledged force within us creates miracles in this world.

The invitation this day is to value and acknowledge the gift that is your presence and see the gift others bestow on you with their presence.  Know that your presence in this world is enough.  Be with your Self.  Be with others.  Witness the miracles.

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