Some days bear fruit so abundant
There is no debate
That this life is indeed a gift
Each day bringing forward
Evidence that we are loved
We are guided
We are walking this path
With a thousand souls
Invisible to the naked eye
But none the less present
Nudging us right where we need to go
Introducing to those we need to meet
Reminding us we are miracles
We are joy
We are grace
In human form
Here to experience an adventure so grand
That movies, books, songs, art
Try to capture
But cannot substitute
For our willingness
To show up for the direct experiences
And receive the gifts of the day.
Yesterday was the anniversary date of my marriage to John. As I entered the day, grounding in the date, time, place, I paused to give thanks for my marriage to John and flashed to the moment our eyes met as I walked down the aisle to meet him on the alter. My heart lit up infused by the love that remains within me and this was a gift that I received with gratitude and a sense of awe for my journey thus far.
My sister, Angie, texted me to say that she was thinking of me and John, remembering the actual day of the wedding and how incredibly special it was for all of us. I thanked her for the acknowledgement and the love receiving her generosity. I laughed to myself thinking how I used to tease John that he married me for my family because he loved and appreciated each of them more than I can possibly put into words.
I went about my morning rituals and headed to meet a friend for brunch – not giving the anniversary another thought, not feeling pulled back in time rather fully in my life here and now. What a gift! There was no trying not to feel and there was no need to try and conjure up feelings believing falsely that I should feel on this most special day in the history of my life.
The friend I was meeting had been waiting on the cable guy to arrive so she was running late. I sat at the bar chatting to all my friends who work there and trying not to focus on how famished I was when I heard a man’s voice say: Are you by yourself today? Do you wanna’ join us? I turned to respond when I was struck viscerally by the John Deere hat that the guy was wearing because my John always wore John Deere gear. I explained that my friend was on the way and thanked him for his generosity asking what brought them to Nashville. He said they were there for a bachelor party so I asked who the groom was and he said it was him. I took this opportunity to express to him what an incredible adventure marriage is, explaining that John had died and how the joy and the love still fuel my life. We continued to talk so I shared that the last “dream” I had had of John he said: We had a good time…didn’t we, Gee! I encouraged him to have a good time come what may. He looked me in the eye and said: You know that wasn’t a dream. John was with you. He was speaking to you. I admitted that I did know this but didn’t want to freak out someone I just met. What gift imparted by this stranger who was actually a friend delivering a message from beyond, from John.
Later that afternoon, my niece, Jess called which is rare. She wanted to share that she felt John’s presence as she was cutting the grass and a black and yellow butterfly danced in the air around her. She didn’t even remember that it was the wedding anniversary – she just happened to call. What a gift that the nudges led her to picking up the phone to remind me of the connection that is ever-present between us and with those souls beyond this physical realm.
Out and about, I received a barrage of messages all night long from new friends that I have met over the last couple of months since my move. They had no idea how their words fed me and how John was at work through them, reminding me that I am loved, that my shit matters, that my life is abundantly rich so just receive the gifts of the day and say thank you!
The invitation this day is to consciously receive the gifts that come your way this day through the kindness and generosity of others and through the divinely mundane experiences that fill your day which are actually extraordinary beyond measure when we are present to them. Connect with yourself and others. Tune in to the treasures being offered to you in seemingly small ways that are actually huge. Give thanks! This is your life – don’t wait to welcome the abundance, the joy, the love that is ever-present.