Friday, May 10, 2013

I Am so Happy

I have come to see is sourced from a million things I can language
And a million things I cannot.
There are reasonable explanations for why I am so happy
And countless that are beyond my knowing.
This feeling is something I consciously welcome each day and wish for all
Yet it is a field of grace that blows through me.

As I powered on my laptop, I closed my eyes and inhaled through my nostrils the fresh air on this glorious morning.  The resonance of happiness filled me.  And I said to my Self silently:  I am so happy...I am so happy...Damn, it feels good to be happy...I don't know that I have ever been this happy or knew this level of happiness existed. And I am a happy person by nature..

There is no event in particular on this day that is giving me a reason to be happy.  There is no one I am planning to see or talk to that is the cause of this happiness.  There are things that I must do today that aren't fun and I would rather avoid so this happiness doesn't come from being stress free.  The sun is shining but it is supposed to storm.  This happiness isn't contingent upon anything.  It simply is. 

I have undervalued happiness at times, burdening myself and my life putting the weight of the world on my shoulders, trying to control the uncontrollable, wanting to fix what I was powerless over,  longing to manage life in order to keep myself safe from the mess of this human experience.  Perhaps the cause of this happiness is that I now value life - my life and all life - so much so that I don't interfere with what is.  I am okay with being powerless and now easily accept others wherever they are.

Last night while grabbing a bite and watching the NBA playoffs at my own personal Cheers! here in Nashville (Tavern in Midtown), a man sitting next to me asked what I thought about one of the Chicago Bulls player's tattoos.  I said:  I don't think about it.  He was taken aback at my response and tried to lure me into his need to figure out what is wrong with this guy that he would (in the opinion of this guy) desecrate his own body.  He anazlyzed the player as if he were giving his thesis weaving in and out of theories.  I wouldn't engage and simply restated the fact:  I don't think about it.  And that ended all conversation until the guy got up from his bar stool to leave and wished me a goodnight to which I reciprocated with sincerity having no feeling that he was wrong or bad because we weren't in alignment. 

Staying in my lane and not needing to tell others which lane they should be in, living my life and allowing others to live theirs, having opinions but not needing to be right makes me happy.  Not tangling my energy up in what feels restrictive or combative, choosing to be free makes me happy. 

I am what most would consider a Happy Person by nature but I must say that this level of happiness is truly nothing I have willed or conjured up.  It is organic springing from the well within me.  It is a field of grace that blows through me for which I say Thank You! The journey to this moment fills me with awe and I wish this knowing of happiness for all.

The invitation this day is to make happiness a priority in your life.  Go into the inquiry with compassion for yourself wherever you are.  Be with the questions and let go of all judgment and self-criticism (Put down the bat so you don't beat yourself up):  What does happiness feel like in your body, heart, mind and soul?  Are you happy?  What causes happiness for you?  Is it conditional or can you sustain happiness no matter what life brings your way? 

Now, I do have a long list of things that make me happy and as I bring them to mind, I like to sing in my head Julie Andrew's classic version of Favorite Things from the movie The Sound of Music:  Morning coffee, loving from my kitties, birds singing, connecting with friends - old and new over interesting conversation, my family, cards in my mailbox, fresh sheets on my bed, cake for dinner, peanut butter M&M's, running, being outside, Lake Cumberland...

It's your turn to join in the fun.  List the things that make you sure to sing and pay attention to how you feel.  Oh Joy!

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