There are parts of us hidden
Buried deep within us
Some we are conscious of
And some we aren’t
But when we dare to release those energies
Unclogging what has blocked our vitality
There is a JOY to life
That makes us wake up saying:
Bring on the day!
Here I am!
(Well, this may be asking too much.
may not be possible until our morning coffee or workout.)
One of my favorite lines of all time comes from the movie The Family Stone. Sarah Jessica Parker plays the uptight girlfriend who goes home for Christmas with her boyfriend played by yummy Dermott Mulroney who is equally as serious and driven to prove his worth in the world through his success as a businessman. They arrive at his parents' dressed in their uptown clothes, looking polished even after a long drive. SJP even has a tight bun to top off the perfection she is wanting to project. The family who are a cast of characters, not wanting to impress, comfortable in their messiness and with each other’s crap send SJP into a tailspin. She has a complete meltdown and finds herself in a bar with Dermott Mulroney’s brother played by equally yummy Luke Wilson who is a free spirit to his core, making documentary films out in LA. After a few drinks and listening to SJP sulk and play victim to his family, Luke Wilson tells her: You know what your problem is, you have a freak flag but you just aren’t flying it.
This invitation for SJP to fly her freak flag begins her liberation from perfectionism, trying to be who she thinks she should be and letting who she really is come out to play bringing a sense of joy and freedom that enlivens her and beautifies her as the painted mask is taken off.
We all have freak flags, things that make us different and often, there is shame in being different, in not fitting in to the ideal standard we hold in our mind and that is projected on to us so we play the role of who we believe we should be. There is pain in feeling different, like we don’t fit in and there is pain in trying to be who we aren’t in an attempt to fit in.
A new friend who is a musician shared that he is painfully shy so we spoke at length about where the pain comes from which I believe is his inability to accept his shyness completely and be who he is. His willingness to release the shame and be okay with being shy instead of trying to pretend he is otherwise is his ticket to freedom. His eyes welled up as he stepped into that feeling of being in his truth. We reviewed the amazing gifts his shyness has given him so he could appreciate who he is with fresh eyes. He is a brilliant and soulful musician from being able to spend time in solitude and practice. He goes within himself and brings new worlds to life which he graciously shares with audiences. He is smart as hell devouring books on mythology that feed him. He is at home being in nature so he works as an environmentalist protecting water ways and reefs, traveling wherever he is needed because he is comfortable within himself and can be alone. I could go on and on and on about this remarkable human being.
When asked: What do you do? I could rattle off my list of roles as writer, speaker, numerologist, coach, entrepreneur and so on (which are all roles I love and cherish) but I often say that I am privileged to help people free their JOY by giving them permission to be who they are, to own those parts of their Self they have unconsciously repressed or want to deny, inviting them to fly their freak flags by letting those unique aspects of who they are come out and play.
I have no desire to mold people into who I think they should be perpetuating the shame that our culture uses to motivate change. I just want to help people remember there is a joy to life that is so vast it will make us wake up and say: Bring on the day! Hot Damn! Here I am! Woohoo…I am passionate about loving my life every single day and want others to love life too.
The Inquiry this day is: What if what you believe is the most fu%#ed up part of you is actually the best part of you? (Judge Nothing.) Your judgment will never serve you. Your acceptance, your ability to love who you are will free the well of vitality within you. And I leave you with this assurance: I am human and not afraid to be human flaws and all. I only know what I know from my own walk of liberation that continues and will continue until my last breath. WOOHOO!!! Bring it on. Here I am.