Thursday, May 23, 2013

And There’s More to Come


Life goes on and on and on
With or without our consent
Ebbing and flowing
With or without our participation
Doing what it does
Perpetual motion cycling
Beginnings and endings
Death and Rebirth
Planting and Harvesting
Pruning and Blossoming
Cocooning and Metamorphosing  

My late husband, John, visited me last night in my dream state and connecting with him in this way is so sacred that even though I consider myself an open book, I can feel hesitant to share the experiences fearing the resonance of love, truth and beauty will be lost in my attempt to translate it.   He stood there glowing, light gently pouring from him and engulfing me as we smiled together from the depths of us completely integrated, an energetic union standing there as one.  He simply said:  We had a good time, didn’t we, Gee?  I didn’t respond with words.  Every fiber of my being resounded Yessssss! Delighting…nodding in agreement at this simple yet profound truth.  He added:  And there’s more to come.  Again, I silently said Yessssss!  with all of me.  We began to laugh hysterically together as we had done in our life we had shared, yet I knew this was not an attempt for him to remind me of what was rather he was assuring me of what is.

It is just like him to throw these one-line zingers at me, summing up our life together so poetically in the brevity:  We had a good time, didn’t we, Gee?  That statement reminds me that having a good time, looking for the good in all times is everything and in the end, all that remains is the good that rises from this life.  This doesn’t mean there weren’t times that didn’t feel so damn good, facing painful pruning only to blossom magnificently, tumbling clumsily lost in the death of who we were only to be reborn into who we always wanted to become, planting seeds and trusting the bounty of the harvest would come, maybe not on our terms but they would surely come.  And there’s (always) more to come.  
A friend gave me a print with angels splashed all around it with the message:  Faith is the place between where you are and the good things that are sure to come.  Sip that in.

Talking to a dear friend from Brownsburg, she said:  Just think if you had known your life would be where it is today when John died 2 ½ years ago.  Who could have known?  The truth is I knew that there was more to come.  I knew that in the tragedy there were gifts that I couldn’t yet see because I had to allow the grief to swallow me, shatter me, cut out what was inessential, all that I couldn’t take with me in order to be born again into this new life.  There is no bypassing the death so we must kick and scream and soothe our Self with the knowing that good will surely come.
Good comes because life doing what it does is in perpetual motion cycling beginnings and endings.  With or without our consent, life ebbs and flows, taking us where we don’t always want to go.  But if we trust that good will come even from the crap we want to pray away, life becomes easier, less bumpy and jolting as we ride the waves whether they are gentle or swift.

The invitation this day is no matter where you are in life to look for the good.  Set an intention:  I am going to have a good time today!  And rest in this knowing:  There will be more…There will (always!) be more GOOD to come.

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