Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Filling My New Space

Decorating is a reflection of who we are,
Where we are at certain points in our life,
As well as a source of inspiration to create a life we love day in and day out.
It is a silent, energetic exchange between those who dwell in the space
And the material possessions carefully selected.

I simply cannot watch the TV show Hoarders as I find it deeply disturbing to witness the pain those documented are experiencing.  Viewing their homes jam-packed, filthy, and rodent filled with no open space in which to live, we are shown a glimpse into their psyches.  Locked in, suffocated by stuff with no room to breathe, the hoarders are showing us through the physical manifestation of their homes the inherent fear of living that has consumed them.  They find safety in these homes that keep life out.  The family members desperate to understand what makes no rational sense attempt to rescue those they love from the walls that have crashed in on them.

It became clear to me as I felt anxiety sweep in filling my chest with hotness as I unpacked plastic tubs of my stuff that I am no ready to fill my new space.  The openness is a reflection of who I am and where I am at this point in my life.  I am inspired by the bare walls, the texture of the exposed concrete and the fresh air pouring through the sliding glass door that leads to my balcony.  The energetic exchange of the ceiling to floor windows throughout my condo and the glazed concrete floors invites me to lie down as if I am on a blanket of grass with my kitties, Jefferson and Beauty on my head.  The art I carefully selected to come along with me on this new adventure is leaned against the hallway walls with bubble wrap padding the frames protecting the walls from scratching.  This is a glimpse into my psyche so I listen to what I need.

There is still a taskmaster within me that sees the tubs and wants to get shit done so I can check it off my list (I do love to physically check things off my lists drawing a line through evidence of a task completed).  But the depths of me, the wise voice whispers and soothes me with assurance that all is well…be where you are.  Even as I write this, I know that things constantly change so I may choose to hang my art, unpack the stacked tubs and that is okay too.  No right or wrong, no good or bad, no shame motivating me into the shoulds from old programming and patterns.

My space is filled with the joy in possibilities.  For now, that is enough.

The invitation for each of us to be in the space where you call home asking our Self:  Does this reflect who I am, where I am?  Does it inspire me to come alive?  How do I feel in this space?  Can I breathe fully or do the walls feel as if they are closing life in?  Beyond analysis, tune in to the energetic exchange as energy – how we feel on the level of body, heart, soul – doesn’t BS us the way our minds often will.  Honor what you need at this point in your life and pay attention to how enlivened you are by the physical shifts in your space.  ENJOY this inquiry.  Be playful in the experimentation of rearranging and bringing in new stuff and taking out the old.   

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