The HEART Remembers!

Tis the SEASON

To be JOLLY

To taste

The JOY

The LOVE

The MAGIC

AND

To Allow

The lonely

HEART

Wrenching

Aching

The grieving

HEART

Breaking

Remembering When

Wanting MORE of what was

The scarred

HEART

Carrying the battle wounds

To Weep

To SING its SONG

Melancholy

Haunted

By

GHOSTS

Memories

Of Christmases

Past

Present

Future

All that was

Merging

With

All that is

Bringing forward

ALL that will be

The GOOD

That is sure

To come

OUR way

DARING to show up

BEING Present

To our Self

With COMPASSION

As we RIDE

The waves

Of Emotions

Ebbing

Flowing

Letting go of judgment

Welcoming the FEELings

ALL of them

Seeing the BEAUTY

In the JOY

AND

In the PAIN

LIVING it ALL

Letting Life TOUCH US

The excitement

The fun

The wonders

The sorrow

The grief

The sadness

EXPERIENCING

IT All

IT is ALL part of Life

The Freedom

Of

HONEST moments

That denial

Strips

Repressing

Our Energies

Clogging

Our Vitality

Fearing

The FLOOD gates

Will OPEN

And

Never STOP

A tsunami of Tears

OVERWHELMING

Devastating

Wiping OUT

The pretty picture

We paint

We pretend

Forgetting

The profound BEAUTY

In Truth

Living in the BEAUTY

Of this Dance

FREE!

The TRUTH

Allowing the HEART

To remember

It ALL

Sets US

FREE!

Again

And

Again

And

Again

Pushing AWAY

The PAIN

Pushes away

The JOY

Allowing

The Pain

Makes space for

The JOY

Give your Self

PERMISSION

To

FEEL

In this SEASON

Of

LOVE

LOVE it ALL

THIS is Your LIFE

LOVE your Self

LOVE

LOVE

LOVE

Miracles Happen

When we dare

To LOVE

To OPEN

Wider

And

Wider

The HEART

Ever-REMEMEBERING

Is

VAST

Enough

To

LOVE

It

ALL

To

HOLD

The PAIN

And

The JOY

Knowing

IT is life

Meeting LIFE

Greeting IT

Wondrous

So SACRED

So HOLY

All moments

ALIVE

Living the PASSION

Celebrating it ALL

All that was

All that is

All that shall BE.

One of the greatest gifts I ever gave myself was holding my pain sacred, allowing the grief to grip, to bite, to stab, to do what it does understanding that it isn’t there to simply kick my ass but to free me, awaken me to the beauty ever-present even in the ugliest moments.  In holding my pain sacred, I can hold the pain of others sacred.  Our comfort with our own feelings allows us to be comfortable with whatever others are feeling.  In this season of jolly, I have had conversation after conversation with others struggling to put on a happy face and repress the heart’s memories that are flooding up.  I invite them to hold their Self with compassion, taking their Self by the hand and loving their Self with complete understanding and acceptance wherever they are moment by moment, one day at a time.  Miracles happen in this love!  The struggle comes from the denial, from the inability to be present to the pain, the sorrow that washes up in unexpected moments, at inconvenient times when we think we should feel otherwise, judging our honest emotions as negative making them bad and feeling shame.  The truth of wherever we are sets us free.  We actually come alive releasing tears and expressing feelings.   Holding back closes us off not just from the pain but the joy of life!

To allow our Self to be wherever we are knowing the heart remembers is loving our Self fiercely, honoring all that was, all that is and all that is to come.  Last Christmas season, I had just passed the 2 year mark of my late-husband, John’s death and was actually feeling so emboldened by my new life, getting my groove back on a whole other level, embracing this dangerous woman that was blossoming; one moment I was laughing with friends over lunch and the next moment, I was lying in a puddle of tears barely able to drive the 8 miles home so I could crumble into bed at 2:00 in the afternoon and pull the covers over my head.  I turned off my phone and consciously tuned in to the enormity of feelings flooding up and out.  I loved my Self up through the wailing, through the explosive cursing fits, through the heaviness, through all the darkness and on the other side, I was set free.  New skies.  New mountains to climb.  New worlds within ready to sing.  A new lifetime within this lifetime urging me C’mon, C’mon, C’mon: it’s time to play!  ALL of life more magnificent than I had ever experienced made possible by my ability to be present to my Self, to what life presented instead of pushing it away.  It was the heavens gracing me, ringing me out like a tube of toothpaste so the residue of grief – pain, rage, sorrow – whose time had come to wash up could come.  The grief that swallowed me graciously spit me out – anew, enlivened, beautified gloriously and miraculously by the fire – only made possible walking through the fires of life as it burns away what is inessential, what no longer serves, what we can’t take with us into the new worlds ready to sing – freeing us.

Left to our own devices, we will try to control outcomes and manipulate life into how we think it should be, painting the prettiest pictures, pretending to be who we think we should be, cutting out the feeling – the gift of the sacred heart that sings the truest song remembering and containing all that was, all that is, all that shall be.  It holds the pain and the joy simultaneously!  No censoring.  No judgment of good or bad, positive or negative, right or wrong.  The heart remembers ever-flowing with life which is truly magnificent beyond measure so we might live in the beauty of this dance free come what may. 

The invitation this day, this holiday season and this lifetime is to allow the heart to remember, to commit to no bullshit, to allow the truth of where you are and what you are feeling to free you, beautify you and your life so you can experience this dance uncensored appreciating this gift – you and your life – as never before.  And your ability to love your Self wherever you are will allow you to love others wherever they are.  This love within you lights the way through the darkest and brightest moments of your life!