A diagnosis comes
Swiftly
Harshly
Stalling our
engines
Leaving us adrift
Spiraling down
Forcing us into
The fight for our
life
As we crash
Flooding our psyche
with
All that was
All that is
All that we want to
be
Clarity
The gift of the
wreckage
Freedom
The constant
As we are liberated
Knowing who we
truly are
And the privilege
it is to be alive
On our darkest days
On our most
triumphant days
Our heart remembers
It is all good
Clapping
Singing
Celebrating
LIFE.
I
have observed myself saying in numerous conversations: Your
life is worth fighting for. These
are not terminally ill people, diagnosed with a disease which leaves them
fighting for their life day in and day out, hoping and praying that they will
beat the odds, doing whatever they must to stay here on this earth as they
fully understand the gift of life. These
are people who have forgotten that they have choices to do things differently,
to fly out of the cage door that they believe holds them captive not seeing
that the cage door is always open; forgetting they are the captor and the
liberator both.
Recalling
some events of my life to friends who didn’t know me in my most destructive
times, I shared how I began fantasizing about how I could kill myself not
wanting to live the way I was living.
Then, a grace blew through me, showing me that my life was worth
fighting for; and just as I had visualized ways of ending my life, I could use
this very tool to imagine the possibilities, to create a life that would
nourish my soul. The clarity that came forward
giving me a higher perspective, making known to me that I possessed the power
within me to move mountains and the only mountain to move was actually me began
my journey into living consciously, joyously and gratefully come what may.
Since
my earliest days on this earth, I was obsessed with death, worrying about my
own death and the death of others who I loved, people from my community as well
as strangers on the evening news and in the paper; the death of birds I found
on the sidewalk or squirrels on the road.
I had a recurring dream about Nazis holding me captive, torturing me
until they mercifully killed me in the gas chamber. These dreams terrified me as a child, but I
now see that my subconscious mind was showing me that life is a liberation
walk, choice by choice, day by day until our last breath. There are things in life that suck which we
will do anything to avoid, feeling tortured and even wishing the pain would end
– on some level wanting to die but ultimately, not wanting to live the kind of
hell we are experiencing. The intensity
of this space takes us into another gear, the depths of who we truly are, the limitlessness
of the soul. This is a grace so fierce
it forces us to fight for our life, to walk through that which we have run
from.
The
invitation this day is to not wait for some diagnosis, some terminal disease to
see that your life is worth fighting for.
Do what you must this day to bring more joy, more peace, more love into
your life. Hold the intention to love
your life knowing it is possible and it is the greatest act of service to your
Self and humanity. Fight through old
patterns and beliefs that keep you imprisoned.
Dismiss all that violates the truth of who you are – all that strips you
of the beauty and abundance that is. Fight the good fight with a heart wide
open to the miracles of this day available to you and to all. LOVE BIG!
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